defying gravity

defying gravity,
a black-yellow bumble bee strapped to my back,   initially–
—    bobbing like a cork–

I would never awaken in my wake —    deep in the below surface, looking up
from the sky blue reflected pool bottom, floating–    defying gravity,
a black-yellow bumble bee strapped to my back,   initially–
—    bobbing like a cork–
until the moment it was cast off –    away –  adrift
no longer needed,       I was no longer needful
except I couldn’t understand it then,       in the moment,       not knowing that need is always   a shadow companion, even in hard-swum independence, —
—        maybe it’s like a fight to return back to the place of birth–   so like the salmon –
to make it back – there, and then – but in foolishness–      I’m guessing, unlike the fish,
not knowing this is a death waiting with open arms–
but for now, it’s about sinking and buoyancy,       defining and defying the cradle of water and wanting to sit on the bottom of the thick-lidded pool liner, open my eyes and pretend
the rainbow so far above won’t disappear if I swim to it–
wondering, how long does breath last —
and do wishes and dreams disappear as easily as any other water droplet toweled off skin.

after: Breach